bursten:

I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment


thegingerterrorist:

Why did the hero flush the toilet?

Because it was his duty!!!


Why did the hero flush the toilet?




beefmilk2:

pansoph:

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here






anazura:

So I stumbled across the IMDB page for Rebel Wilson, and let me tell you, this girl is awesome.
Rebel is her real name. Her siblings are named Annarchi, Ryot, and Liberty.
She’s a distant relative of Walt Disney.
She has a law degree.
She’s a former youth ambassador for Australia and was based in South Africa.
While in South Africa, she contracted malaria. According to the article, she “had hallucinations in which she saw herself as an actress who had won an Oscar. This then convinced her to pursue an acting career.”
and THAT is why this girl rocks harder than pop rocks.


ishimarukiyotakeout:

”brah help me im falling off this cliff brah”

”but brah i cant grab your hand thats hand holding and thats gay brah”

”but brah-”

”brahbye brahther”




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